So, I've crawled out of my dark hole and am feeling human again. It took about six weeks to recover from the pain associated with breastfeeding (mastitis, thrush and just plain pain!) As for the realization that my life will never be the same again...well, I'm still recovering from that one.
However, I can now say with total confidence that I am truly in love. This little being has quite a hold on my heart (and often my hair by the fistfuls!) I've been wanting to record the many wonders that I see him doing each day because I know they will so easily be forgotten. So, here they are.
Some of the things I absolutely love about him are:
-his new baby smell
-the way he looks at the Moroccan prints above our bed and smiles at them
-his big blue eyes looking at me in the morning
-his grunty noises while waking up
-his milky face coming up for a big burp
-the way he nuzzles his head into my chest
-his big belly
-the sound he makes when he almost sneezes
-his open mouth and sigh when happily asleep
-the little sounds he makes while nursing
-his soft feet
-how he loves the fan in the bathroom
-his smiles and giggles while sleeping
-his farts when I swaddle him in the middle of the night
-the way he looks at other babies
-his soft hands touching my chest as he nurses
-the way he stares at the lamp and plant
-his eyelids drooping when falling off to sleep
-the way he straightens his arms around my neck when lying on my chest
-how he loves his changing table and looking at the things on the wall
-the way he lifts his eyebrows and stretches after eating
-his big smile
I'm sure I'll add more to the list over time...amazing how little, tiny things can mean so much.
It's also unbelievable how powerful this little baby is in altering our adult lives. When we think we've rocked him into a deep enough sleep because we've both taken turns and our arms feel like their going to fall off, his eyes will pop wide open. Chris says it's like a horror movie as we're both smiling in disbelief.
Well, this powerful creature is a lot of work but there's nothing I won't do for him. If he needs me to walk in circles for an hour to put him to sleep, that's what I'm going to do...for now, anyway.